The Life I Want: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Hello. My name is Jonny. I’m 24, and I’ve lived my whole life doing exactly what I thought was the right thing. I went to school, studied hard, got the grades I needed to go to uni, where I studied some more to get the degree I needed for a good job. This is the path I was told to take, but I never stopped to question if it was truly right for me.

I was so focused on getting a good job that I never stopped to think if what I was doing was actually the right thing for me. If it’s what everyone else is doing, then it must be good, right? Now that I’m here, all I can wonder is, “Is this really how I’m going to spend the next 50 years of my life?” Working in some office with beaming fluorescent lights until the sun goes down, attempting to be friends with people that I couldn’t feel more different to. All to get home, sit on a computer in an empty room, only to realize I don’t even have the energy or desire to play a game or talk. If this is what life is, then I just don’t see how I can go on pretending that this is everything I’ve dreamed of.

I’ve spent so much of my life living vicariously through others, watching people stream and do amazing things with their lives, wishing I was nearly as brave or cool as them. But I’ve always been afraid to express who I truly am - afraid of not fitting in or being different. All this did was make me feel lonely, like I had no one to talk to. I feel like I’m watching the world just go by, and I’m not even part of it. I feel like I’m just living life on autopilot with no meaning, and no one who will even remember who I was.

It’s taken too long to realize that I can’t live like this anymore. This isn’t what life was meant to be for me and so many others. The way the world is today is designed to suppress our feelings and make us numb to our desires. We can instantly go on our phones and watch videos for a rush of dopamine, only to forget about any worries or passions we might have. I dream for more. I want to be more. I want to feel alive. And I realized that the only way anything is ever going to change for me is if I do it myself. I don’t want to just sit around and accept that this is my life.

So, that’s why I’m here. I’m starting this blog as a place where I can say how I feel, do what I really want, and push myself out of my comfort zone. I want to hold myself accountable for my own life and remind myself to dream for more. I know there is another way to live—I’ve seen it, and I want it. I don’t just want to keep watching the world through someone else’s eyes. I actually want to do it myself, just like I’ve wanted for so many years. I’m using this blog as a platform to find my voice, talk about the things I want, and hopefully do the things I’ve always dreamed of, all in search of a better life.

I need to find a way out, and right now, this is the one thing I keep thinking about doing. So instead of beating myself up or thinking that it’s a bad idea, I’m just going to do it and see how it goes.

Really, I’m only doing this for myself, as a way of trying to live the life I want. I don’t even care if anyone reads this. But if you are reading this and any of it resonates with you, then first off, that’s crazy to me. And more importantly, I hope you can find solace in the fact that you aren’t alone in feeling this way and maybe use this as a way of building courage to be the person you’ve always wanted to be. Maybe it’ll even inspire you to take that first step toward being the person you’ve always wanted to be.

Thanks for reading. Let’s see where this goes. Peace.